This week’s blog is brought to you by the letters ‘M’ (for morphine), ‘C’ (for codeine), and by the number ‘10’, which is the ward I’m currently laying horizontally in, within the hospital’s Acute Medical Unit.

‘Why am I awake?’ ‘I couldn’t sleep,’ says Nat. ‘Yes, but why am I awake?’ ‘Because I couldn’t sleep,’ she repeats. She has a point. I take the opportunity to huff quietly to myself. Even at this early hour, passive-aggressiveness does not pass me by. ‘What time is it?’ I regret my question as soon as it’s asked – as soon, in […]

My wife has been on a recycling course at work. She’s now looking at things to recycle at home. I’m wondering whether I should pack a bag – just in case.

‘At this point, I think we all need to agree that it is a truth universally acknowledged that you can either home school your children or be happy. You can’t have both!’

Having gone through four years of university, I eventually became a man of letters – mostly comprising of threats from the bank.